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The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively, by Gary Chapman

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Review

"When dealing with teenagers it's really sort of like finding your way through a maze. Every child is different and has different emotional and physical needs. After reading this book, I was really able to start to sense what my children need. By employing the use of the love language it really makes your child know that you understand and love them. It eases situations that could escalate especially when a child is upset. The way I parent with teenagers is really different from when they were little and I think by using these love languages in your arsenal of parenting is truly helpful."Reviewed by Eva Rosol on NetGalley, Apr 28, 2016"Urgh. Teenagers sure are difficult. Although I am not a mom of teens yet, I'm already anticipating the beatific angels transforming into acne-pocked, oily monsters full of angst and contempt for "the man"...meaning me. I was absolutely thrilled when I found that Gary Chapman had created a sequel of sorts to the 5 Love Languages. The principle of love languages was the same; there are 5 languages that people respond to and feel loved by: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. However, this book helps parents to navigate the waters of troubled teenagers and how to make them feel loved...without maybe feeling suffocated by mom and dad's love."Reviewed by Andra Lynn on NetGalley, Apr 25, 2016"The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers By Gary Chapman.Gary Chapman first wrote the book "Five Love Languages". Since then the books have been customised for different markets including Men, Children, Teenagers, Singles and Military.This version follows a similar format that outlines the five Love Languages: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service. This is followed by chapters on how to discover your teenager's primary love language, and how the Love languages affect their love, responsibility development, independence, and dealing with failure.There is a section of Speaking your teenager's love language and applying them in a single parent family, and blended families.The book is an excellent practical resource for parents to understand their teenager, how they feel, and how to express love to a teenager in a way that has meaning to them. This unconditional love boosts a teenager's emotional needs and therefore their self-esteem.There are lots of practical suggestions and ideas for each of the love languages.A book that should be read regularly by every parent."Reviewed by Heath Henwood on NetGalley, Apr 19, 2016

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From the Back Cover

Struggling to connect with your teen?Never before has raising teens been so perplexing. If you are wondering what on earth you’re doing wrong, you’re not alone. But there is hope. By learning to meaningfully express love amid your teen’s many changes, you can stay connected, maintain influence, and help them grow into a healthy adult. Dr. Gary Chapman will help you: Understand today’s teenagersIdentify your teen’s primary love languageDiscover how to best express love to your teenAddress your teen’s need for independence and responsibility Respond with love and wisdom when your teen failsRaising teens is tough, but with Dr. Chapman’s expert advice and practical examples, you can do it—and do it well.  Includes a love language profile for teens

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Product details

Paperback: 256 pages

Publisher: Northfield Publishing; Reissue edition (May 1, 2016)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 080241284X

ISBN-13: 978-0802412843

Product Dimensions:

5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches

Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.8 out of 5 stars

14,187 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#3,878 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Note: This review, as well as many more, can also be found on my blog, The Baking Bookworm (www.thebakingbookworm.blogspot.ca).My Review: As you can see from my reading history on GoodReads or on my blog I'm not a big non-fiction reader so it should come as no shock that I didn't happen upon this book by myself. I learned of it from a friend of mine who had read another book in the series and she had quite positive reviews of it. I had never heard of or read any of Chapman's previous "Love Languages" books but the premise intrigued me.As many of you know I have one teen and two tweens at home. Let's just say that the household hormones runneth over. Over the past couple of years as Boy 1 entered teendom I've noticed differences in how we interact with each other and they're not always as positive as I would like. So I was eager to see if this book could give me a clearer view of what being a teen in 2013 is like for my son.Overall, I enjoyed this light read, learned a little and was reminded about a lot of parenting tools that I already had in my parenting arsenal. It reminded me of what it's like to be a teen -- how they feel, think etc and helped me to put some of my feelings/reactions into perspective (like not to feel hurt or put out when my teen wants/needs time to himself and doesn't necessarily want to hang with dear old mom). Deep down I knew that but a little reminder was needed.The notion of Chapman's five love languages is an interesting concept. As I read the book I started to look at my kids differently. Each of my kids have different 'love languages' so I tried, over the past few weeks, to figure out how to reach each them with their unique love languages. Boy 1 is not one for hugs (never has been). To reach him I had to stop using so much Physical Love (one of my main love languages) -- hugs, hair ruffling, kisses on the cheek -- and start using Words of Affirmation to get through to him. He responded to me better and you know what? He's actually become more OK with my occasional hugs. Who knew, right?Now Boy 2 is a different ball of wax all together. Boy 2 truly speaks the love language of Physical Touch with his love of snuggling, hugging 'just cuz' and how he likes to sit close to Brad and I even while just watching TV. It's always been easy for Boy 2 and I to show love because we kind of come from the same love language page, so to speak.Missy Moo's love language is definitely Quality Time. She adores having Brad or I to herself for some one-on-one time. Three different kids, three different ways to show them that I love them. So, by not showing each of my kids love using their own love language I may not have been imparting my love clearly to them. That was an 'a-ha' moment for me. Ultimately, by focusing on what my kids need/want from me I do feel that we have had a much calmer household over the past few weeks.Throughout the book Chapman clearly describes the mindset of teens, how they may be feeling and what they need in order to feel loved during a very emotional and stressful age. He uses a fairly strong Christian base to his teachings with several Biblical/Christian references being made throughout the book. A couple of times it almost took on a preachy vibe but overall I don't think non-Christians will mind the references.Is this the most concise parenting book I’ve read? No. I did find the book overly long for the amount of information that was provided and feel it could have been cut down quite a bit without losing the information given. And while there is good information provided, many of the parenting techniques aren't anything new but can be used to remind parents of things that they knew all along but needed a refresher in.One of the 'refreshers' that I needed was quite simple but made me do a mental forehead smack when I read it.You can't parent a teen the same way you parented them when they were a child.The rules change. The boy who did as he was told as a child is now arguing and pushing boundaries at every turn because he wants to become his own person. Pushing away from Mom and Dad is what's supposed to happen as teens learn to 'go it alone' more and more without Mom and Dad hovering over them to ensure that nothing bad happens. That said, rules and boundaries are just as important now as they were when he was younger.Rules, consequences and boundaries must be set in advance and be clear and consistent so everyone knows what's expected and what will happen if boundaries are crossed. This involves a lot of communication and respect all around. I liked the fact that this book doesn't sugar coat things and encourages parents to allow their kids to feel the consequences of their actions. Mom and Dad don't need to ride in on a white horse to save the day if Junior's decision ends badly. The teens, after making their own decisions, have to face the consequences, good or bad, just as they will when they're adults.I take away from this book a few new tidbits of parenting wisdom to make my parenting arsenal that much stronger. Encouraging independence is something that Brad and I have always done with our kids but as Boy 1 begins to push farther than my comfort zone is comfortable with I can look back at this book and realize that it's OK for me to let go of the reigns (just a little). Allow him to stumble, make decisions (even when I don't agree) and begin to pull away from Brad and I to become his own person. Hard to do but oh so necessary because in the end creating independent, self-sufficient, caring and compassionate adults who know they are loved is the end result of parenting.Recommended.My Rating: 3.5/5 stars

The book was pretty good, it had some valid points and learning that there are different ways that people express their love was important. What I think pulled away from the book was the underlying religious agenda to preach about God. It totally turned me off And I thought it was completely unnecessary to deliver the message. Of course if you are a religious person then this would be right up your alley.

I stopped reading at the part where the author recommended a woman to sleep with her husband against her will. WTF? Highly triggering for sexual abuse and domestic violence survivors.Also, the book reads like it’s written for white Christians. And for men who don’t want a partnership, but rather want to coerce their wife into being their sexually subservient housemaid/servant because they just don’t like vacuuming and can‘t afford hiring a cleaner („I thought I get myself a wife for that“).So if you’re a white Christian man or woman who likes to be a little housewife, yes, this book‘s for you.Besides that, the book offers solid scientific facts such as man‘s sex drive being dominated biologically by sperm pressure; that women‘s sex drive is purely emotional and not driven by their bodies; and more.

I have just started to read this book. In the Acknowledgments, I noticed this, "If all wives loved as she does, fewer men would be looking over the fence." How about "If all husbands loved as he does, fewer women would be looking over the fence."? I am serious.

It is definitely a good book for couples and it has improved my relationship with my wife. If nothing else it shows you what things your partner is really looking for out of their spouse. I quickly found that my love language was "Acts of Service". Though it might not be sexy or macho to say that, it means more to me to have the dishes and laundry done when I come home after work or have minor home improvements taken care of before I get home. My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. We do clean it all the time but it feels like a losing battle. My wife's love language is "Words of Affirmation". As you can tell from all these Amazon reviews I am much more of a writer than I am a talker. My wife is always looking for me to say how much I love and appreciate her because I don't say it often enough.A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. Especially if you have children or a high stress occupation. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication.I recommend the book for sure and found it inspiring and worth reading. All couples can benefit from reading this book. The only downside is I wish it could have been a little longer. The stories from the author are interesting and I would have liked to have heard a bunch of his other examples of couples that he has dealt with. It was a short book and my wife and I finished it in 4 or 5 days and that was reading it slowly. The price is easily affordable. I found it best to photo copy the test quiz at the end instead of writing in the book so we can give the book to any family or friends who are struggling with their relationship.

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